Tuesday, December 27, 2016

A Few Internet Sites Didn't Like This, So I'm Sharing It With You.

6 Hobbies Dads of Young Boys Can Legitimately Have

            When men become fathers, many of their favorite past-times get forced out of their lives into oblivion. Despite the boundless joys one experiences as a parent (read: mind numbing drudgery punctuated by moments of blind rage/unfathomable exhaustion) there exists a real void where productive and entertaining hobbies used to exist. Gone are the days of quietly whittling a bird house/functioning mini windmill out of the abundant raw wood you painstakingly collected on multiple day long hikes in the woods. No, with those little rugrats taking up a great deal of your valuable man time, you need some more realistic options.

1.    Wine Tasting

Us men no longer have the time to head out to the bars at a fresh 1 pm and get turnt. 1) We are now responsible for one or more (I routinely lose count) young and impressionable children. Our hobbies have to accommodate for that. Wine tasting is an upscale and responsible alternative and still completely acceptable in the middle of the day if you are either wearing a sweater vest or it’s sunny outside. 2) We should also consider hobbies that we can share with our significant others, ‘cause we’re in this together! Wine is the great harbinger of amiable relationships, and if your significant other doesn’t like wine, you can have their portion and they’ll appreciate your willingness to include them in your hobby.

2.      Hide and Seek

At first, it may seem as though Hide and Seek would be more of a family pastime, but for the right man, it can be a fulfilling solo creative hobby. Imagine the lessons you could teach your children – especially after an hour long tantrum about the way their pineapple slices are arranged on their plate - if they were unable to find you for days. You would get to truly tap into the ingenuity that was your best friend in college while playing How To Pass This Test Without Studying, and your kids will get a fantastic life lesson regarding attachment disorder and how to avoid it in the future.

3.      Reading

Remember when you and your significant other had nothing but epic amounts of passion filled physical release? That was great. These days, with sweet little cherubim rightfully drawing the bulk of your attention, you’ll need to find a hobby that helps abate thoughts that don’t include bath time strategies and grilled cheese recipes (hint: crust is not an ingredient). Staring at words on a page/screen that happen to be right next to some tasteful pictures of people just like you enjoying the art of making more cherubim is a fantastic way to pass time that would otherwise be spent bugging your sweetly sleeping significant other. If you also happen to be tired, there is plenty of reading material that forgoes the hassle of letters and words and allows you to just enjoy the purity of image.

4.      Racquetball

Racquetball is an enjoyable sport that burns a ridiculous amount of calories, keeping you in shape.

5.      Open an etsy shop

While it’s not something that most would have spring to mind if asked about manly hobbies, an etsy shop could give you hours of productive fun. Etsy is a great place to not only let the world finally see your lacquered PBR can belt buckles, but you could also earn anywhere between -$12.60 and $0 for only like 47 hours of laborious, detail oriented work. It’s also another great entry on this list that you could share with your kids, cause if it takes off, someone is going to have to help you finish those PBRs, and kids are great at drinking and eating things they “haven’t liked since they were babies and now I’m a big kid and I don’t like it.”
6.      Invent a time machine

You’re probably expecting me to say something about going back and stopping yourself from having children. Don’t be ridiculous! You’re going to use that time machine to throttle yourself into the future so that you can scare the holy-living-crap out of your grandchildren in the middle of the night as you enjoy your latest hobby, late-night-god-awful-payback. You’ll also enjoy the opportunity to really mess with your now grown children as you completely rearrange the furniture in their house and throw absolutely every single piece of everything they own onto the floor moments after they have finished cleaning and left the house to go to the store. It’ll be a blast.



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