So....It's been months since we last got to dance together to the blog-trot (yes, that's the best I could come up with). There are lots of reasons this is so; [insert vague/lame excuses here about work and family]. I'm going to go ahead and pretend that we don't all know that my blog had limited readership and I didn't have video games to play. That being said, I came across an article today that made me want to jump back on here to, you know, lay out my thoughts online cause that's super original and it's going to make me rich. Or rather, a series of articles.
They usually read like this "12(or 8 or 15 or 365) Things That Super Successful (or Happy or Content or Rich) People Do Everyday (or Week or Month or Minute)!!!!" If the point of this barrage of "meditate-or-die" articles is to make me feel like I'm not doing it right, well, mission accomplished. I'm not unhappy - actually, generally I am the opposite (that would be happy, for those keeping score). I do, however, consistently feel like I'm "going through the motions;" there's this pervasive feeling that I could add more quality, somewhere....somehow. So, after habitually clicking on these articles at least once or twice a day, reading half of the list and going "Nonsense!" I changed tactics today and read the whole list - the winner was 8 items long. It was nothing new, at least, not relative to the other "This List That Takes 2 Minutes to Read Will Make You Instantly 1000% Happier," lists.
After reading it I came to a decision. No, came to several decisions. Much of it was spurred by the fact that I wanted to give this forum some direction, instead of a "I'm going to put all my useless thoughts into the ether and hope for the best," direction. I have decided to put them in list form so they are easily digestible and reading them will improve your blogginess by 1000%:
1. I'm going to do this shit, for 6 months, and document it on my blog! Cause, like, NO ONE has ever done that in the history of the Internet. (Yes, I'll get to the actual list of 8).
2. I'm going to write on my blog again! And this time, I'm going to use cuss words instead of blocking the sh!t out cause f*ck it I'm an adult (but I have kids so I've mostly already backed away from that one)
3. To document this journey, I will commit to one entry per week, which will surely ensure that my readership will plummet from around 15 to 1 or 2, allowing me to pinpoint my die-hard fans and slowly brainwash them into doing errands for me.
Boom! My list was only 3 things long, so, you know, that makes it better and faster and stronger. So what is it I'm doing for 6 months? Here's the low down (twice as many lists = double the increase in happiness!):
1. Pray or meditate morning, mid-day, and night. There is no escaping this sh#t - every list on the internet now encourages us to meditate (though pray is one that I don't see that often). I'm pretty sure I remember seeing a list called "9 of the coolest objects in space" and #9 was "you should meditate more to increase your happiness." I've been doing some guided meditations already at lunch time to relax a little at work, and at night to help me fall asleep, but once my project is under way I will be going all Zen Nazi on myself (Zenazi?) and engaging in meditation 3 times a day EVERY DAY. I will record my ascent into Nirvana so that you too can maximize your calm - EXTREME CALM!
2. Read/Listen to 1 book per week. Already I'm feeling like this is a huge mistake - I read every day, but ONE WHOLE BOOK per week...yikes. I'm adjusting this and pulling out the parent card. With two little ones in the house and a full-time job I'm shooting for 1 book every 2 weeks. That's still like, 14000 books a year I think.
3. Write in your journal 5 minutes a day. If we weren't already in touch with our tears, we're about to be. I am not afraid to admit that I've got a nightstand journal or two, but I've mostly kept them around to detail brilliant military strategies in the event of a hostile alien take over. It looks like I'll be spending a lot more time reminding myself why I cry everytime the wind graces my face with Mother Earths' fingers.
4. Marry your best friend. Guess what? Part of the reason I chose this list is because I got to check some stuff off of it already - this one is done and done.
5. Make a bucket list and actively knock items off. My guess is, this will take an entire post, maybe even two. Not the "knocking items off" part, but the actual writing of the list. Plus, now everyone will finally know about my desire to be the Captain of the Starship Enterprise.
6. Fast from all food and caloric beverages 24 hours once per week. There is a good chance that I will do this once and then immediately take it off this list, so let's pretend like this one was written in invisible ink and can only be decoded if I actually do it for the whole 6 months. Cool? Cool.
7. Do something everyday that terrifies you. If anyone actually decided to read this, my guess is this will be everyone's favorite. EVERYDAY? It's going to have to include things like "eating that last bite of cake even though I'm terrified of being overly full."
8. Stop consuming the news or reading the newspaper. I get this - it's depressing and it's definitely rigged to feed on people's fears, but ignoring it completely will be difficult. I don't intend to cut off news completely, but I will be abstaining from articles with fantastical misleading titles "North Korea Launches Nuclear Missile at Western U.S." As well articles that blow things way out of proportion.
Let's say I'll start this May 1...it gives me some warm up time and an opportunity to say good bye to my sanity (in the name of eternal everlasting happiness and contentment). Also I can finally write my bucket list. I'm pretty sure it will include at least one entry regarding Cinnabon.
